Bridge Burner
I OFFER THE FOLLOWING AS A PUBLIC SERVICE:
Somehow simply quitting a job you abhore isn't satisfying enough is it? A parting shot is in order, an exclamation point at the end of a soul-sapping experience. An inner cleansing designed to purge one of the collected bile that has been so diplomatically repressed throughout a horrific period of employment. A scathing resignation letter accomplishes this goal very effectively. Feel free to utilize the generic message I've provided below, I guarantee that a near orgasmic feeling of empowerment will wash over you, the likes of which you have never felt before:
To The Corporate Whore It May Concern,
It is with a sense of unbound joy that I gleefully announce my resignation from your fetid cesspool of serville degradation - My shackles are broken, I am at last free of your stifling tyranny. I officially denounce the avaricious cabal of bloated boardroom swine you deem to refer to as management. I condemn to an eternal, blistering cauldron of hellfire all who have so vampirically siphoned my talent and intelligence, claimed them as their own and left behind my lifeless husk to dry in the sun and be picked at like so much rotting carrion. My days of kissing the jewels of your sandaled feet have come to and end. I will no longer stand by impotently as your collective coffers swell as a result of the shedding of my precious sweat and the compromising of my dignity. May all things evil, vile and pestilent rain upon you for a thousand lifetimes. May you choke on the foul stench wafting from your own putrid, morally bankrupt souls. May a long, lingering, puss-spitting death await you all. Have a nice day and fuck you very much.
Yours Sincerely,
xxxx
DISCLAIMER: BRAINJOB is not reponsible for any action (Legal, physical or otherwise) taken by any recipient of the above stated letter, against its sender. Let's face it, it does come off as a little schizoid. You might also want to think twice about sending this letter if you're prone to second guessing yourself.
Somehow simply quitting a job you abhore isn't satisfying enough is it? A parting shot is in order, an exclamation point at the end of a soul-sapping experience. An inner cleansing designed to purge one of the collected bile that has been so diplomatically repressed throughout a horrific period of employment. A scathing resignation letter accomplishes this goal very effectively. Feel free to utilize the generic message I've provided below, I guarantee that a near orgasmic feeling of empowerment will wash over you, the likes of which you have never felt before:
To The Corporate Whore It May Concern,
It is with a sense of unbound joy that I gleefully announce my resignation from your fetid cesspool of serville degradation - My shackles are broken, I am at last free of your stifling tyranny. I officially denounce the avaricious cabal of bloated boardroom swine you deem to refer to as management. I condemn to an eternal, blistering cauldron of hellfire all who have so vampirically siphoned my talent and intelligence, claimed them as their own and left behind my lifeless husk to dry in the sun and be picked at like so much rotting carrion. My days of kissing the jewels of your sandaled feet have come to and end. I will no longer stand by impotently as your collective coffers swell as a result of the shedding of my precious sweat and the compromising of my dignity. May all things evil, vile and pestilent rain upon you for a thousand lifetimes. May you choke on the foul stench wafting from your own putrid, morally bankrupt souls. May a long, lingering, puss-spitting death await you all. Have a nice day and fuck you very much.
Yours Sincerely,
xxxx
DISCLAIMER: BRAINJOB is not reponsible for any action (Legal, physical or otherwise) taken by any recipient of the above stated letter, against its sender. Let's face it, it does come off as a little schizoid. You might also want to think twice about sending this letter if you're prone to second guessing yourself.
posted by M.R. at 11:51 AM
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