I Got Your Reality Right Here
I can't resist mocking the reality series trend that I hope will soon come to its well-deserved demise. Here are a few of my ideas for reality shows that may expedite the process.
PUNK THIS - Every week the viewing audience is entertained by hidden camera footage of Ashton Kutcher receiving a totally unexpected, merciless beating by a different gangster rapper and his posse of bodyguards, which will serve as a warning to never punk them.
CELEBRITY ATTITUDE ADJUSTMENT CAMP - Teams of arrogant, overbearing, premadonna celebrities are berated, bullied and humiliated by Marine Corps drill instructors. The last team to crack under the pressure is rewarded by a totally unexpected, merciless beating by a gangster rapper and his posse of bodyguards.
AMERICAN PIMP-SMACK - Whitney Houston and Bobby Brown are locked away together for one month in a sterile room with no access whatsoever to any legal or illicit drugs. The viewing audience calls in their vote predicting how many times a tweaking Bobby will pimp-smack an equally tweaking Whitney throughout a given show.
MIME SKEET-SHOOTING - This show requires no explanation.
POSTAL - A disgruntled postal employee, deemed mentally incompetent is sent to six weeks of U.S. Army Ranger training, issued a bulletproof Hummer, a cache of small weapons and explosives and is then released to report back to work.
QUEER EYE FOR THE SKINHEAD - Imagine the frolics that will ensue when an unsuspecting Skinhead is informed by a gay man that he's in need of a make-over.
PUNK THIS - Every week the viewing audience is entertained by hidden camera footage of Ashton Kutcher receiving a totally unexpected, merciless beating by a different gangster rapper and his posse of bodyguards, which will serve as a warning to never punk them.
CELEBRITY ATTITUDE ADJUSTMENT CAMP - Teams of arrogant, overbearing, premadonna celebrities are berated, bullied and humiliated by Marine Corps drill instructors. The last team to crack under the pressure is rewarded by a totally unexpected, merciless beating by a gangster rapper and his posse of bodyguards.
AMERICAN PIMP-SMACK - Whitney Houston and Bobby Brown are locked away together for one month in a sterile room with no access whatsoever to any legal or illicit drugs. The viewing audience calls in their vote predicting how many times a tweaking Bobby will pimp-smack an equally tweaking Whitney throughout a given show.
MIME SKEET-SHOOTING - This show requires no explanation.
POSTAL - A disgruntled postal employee, deemed mentally incompetent is sent to six weeks of U.S. Army Ranger training, issued a bulletproof Hummer, a cache of small weapons and explosives and is then released to report back to work.
QUEER EYE FOR THE SKINHEAD - Imagine the frolics that will ensue when an unsuspecting Skinhead is informed by a gay man that he's in need of a make-over.
posted by M.R. at 12:38 PM
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