A Little Bitter Are We?

In light of Pope John Paul II's recent vacillating health status, I've pondered what must be going through the mind of any number of his potential successors. Think any of them may be becoming a little impatient?

"What is the fucking delay? Jesus H. Christ, the guy's at death's door one minute and the next he's sitting in his drawers eating hospital Jell-O and watching Sponge Bob. What is he, living out of spite or something? I bet they're constructing the glass bubble his head will be contained in and a brand new robotic body somewhere in Area 51 or something. 'Ladies and gentlemen, let's give a big hand to the Pope That Will Not Die!'. Shit, call the people at Guinness why dontcha'? The fucking fossil takes a bullet in the gut and recovers in what, about an hour or some shit? He went skiing that winter didn't he? Son of a bitch! It's not like I'm getting any younger you know. I'm just an eyeblink away from adult diaper usage myself over here for fuck's sake..."