Bring Out Your Dead
The average cost of a funeral today runs upwards of $10,000. Pretty steep considering the dearly departed is absolutely clueless as to the time, effort and financial hassle you've been put through.
Let's face it, costly funerals and burials are overrated. Burial plots, headstones, flowers, fancy caskets, clothing and face makeup for a corpse are frivolous expenses designed for the sole purpose of profiting from your grief.
With any corpse, the name of the game is disposal. Traditional burials and cremations are grossly overpriced and the custom of visiting the dead is at best archaic in this day and age. Left up to most people, they'd prefer to be rid of their dead and have nothing more to do with them.
Is it really worth it?
Let's face it, costly funerals and burials are overrated. Burial plots, headstones, flowers, fancy caskets, clothing and face makeup for a corpse are frivolous expenses designed for the sole purpose of profiting from your grief.
Let us offer you a better alternative.
With any corpse, the name of the game is disposal. Traditional burials and cremations are grossly overpriced and the custom of visiting the dead is at best archaic in this day and age. Left up to most people, they'd prefer to be rid of their dead and have nothing more to do with them.
DEAD-EX
Has provided prompt, courteous and discreet corpse disposal services since 2000. For a one-time fee of *$50 we will relieve you of the burden of disposing of your dead. Simply dial our toll free number, provide us with the location of the corpse and our trained staff of Corpse Handlers will transport it to a DEAD-EX Corpse Disposal Depot in your area.
For your convenience, we are available for home, curbside and alleyway pick-ups.
So if the notions of an expensive funeral service and follow-up visits to a cemetery are as absurd to you as they are to us then give DEAD-EX a call. We're in the Yellow Pages under: DEAD.
*Ask about our two-for one discount
Has provided prompt, courteous and discreet corpse disposal services since 2000. For a one-time fee of *$50 we will relieve you of the burden of disposing of your dead. Simply dial our toll free number, provide us with the location of the corpse and our trained staff of Corpse Handlers will transport it to a DEAD-EX Corpse Disposal Depot in your area.
For your convenience, we are available for home, curbside and alleyway pick-ups.
So if the notions of an expensive funeral service and follow-up visits to a cemetery are as absurd to you as they are to us then give DEAD-EX a call. We're in the Yellow Pages under: DEAD.
*Ask about our two-for one discount
posted by M.R. at 12:10 AM
3 Comments:
BWAHAHAHAHAHA!!! When I die I want to be buried in a pine box and in lieu of a funeral I want all my friends and family to have a kegger.
I would have wanted it that way. Pass the BBQ!
A small gathering of friends indulging in Bong hits and naked Twister would suit me just fine.
M.R.
Hilarious!!! We need to poke fun at funerals any way we can!
If you care to stray into my world for a moment, I wrote an ad idea that goes along these lines...
http://parated2k.joeuser.com/index.asp?AID=76326
If you check it out, hope you enjoy it. If not, that's cool too.
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