The Best Closer Gets The Steak Knives
A headline from today's USA Today.com:
Army, Marine Recruiters Shift Focus To Wary Parents
So it turns out that the current crop of adolescent cannon fodder slated to be tossed into the Iraqi meat grinder isn't as stupid as the armed services expected them to be. Army and Marine Corps recruitment is dropping at the same rate as Dubya's IQ. Go figure. As a last ditch effort to get their numbers up, the military has marketing plans in effect to entice parents into coercing their children into jumping headfirst into Hell's sphincter.
I can already see the catchy slogans:
"Parents eligible for one free health club visit for each child killed in action."
"An M-16 or a bong. You make the call."
"She can't get pregnant in a foxhole."
"You couldn't hack the Army, maybe your boy can."
"You had 'Nam, now let the youngsters have some fun."
"Your child may be eligible for a limited edition, George W. Bush commemorative autographed prosthetic limb."
Army, Marine Recruiters Shift Focus To Wary Parents
So it turns out that the current crop of adolescent cannon fodder slated to be tossed into the Iraqi meat grinder isn't as stupid as the armed services expected them to be. Army and Marine Corps recruitment is dropping at the same rate as Dubya's IQ. Go figure. As a last ditch effort to get their numbers up, the military has marketing plans in effect to entice parents into coercing their children into jumping headfirst into Hell's sphincter.
I can already see the catchy slogans:
"Parents eligible for one free health club visit for each child killed in action."
"An M-16 or a bong. You make the call."
"She can't get pregnant in a foxhole."
"You couldn't hack the Army, maybe your boy can."
"You had 'Nam, now let the youngsters have some fun."
"Your child may be eligible for a limited edition, George W. Bush commemorative autographed prosthetic limb."
posted by M.R. at 5:58 PM
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