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“Do I look like the type that falls in love easily?” No, she looked like the type that considered an empty bathroom stall a romantic private getaway; she was so perfect.

“Nah, I don’t think love is your thing really,” I replied. “You look more like the hedonistic type.”

“The what type?”

“Hedonistic…you know, pleasure seeking? Pleasure for pleasure’s sake…unbound, you know? In whatever form it takes.”

“That’s me, I love to feel good.”

“I bet you feel great.”

“I feel okay I guess.”

“Well, I was talking from my perspective.”

“Huh?”

“Never mind honey. I think you look ready for another screwdriver, how about you?”

Under normal circumstances Millie and I would have had absolutely nothing to talk about. I lean more towards intellectual pursuits; Millie collected shot glasses. She was a touch vacuous but possessed a good sense of humor, a simple joy of life and a pair of 44 DD’s. She was a bouncy, red-faced cherub with a sexually adventurous disposition and I was about a heartbeat away from dispositioning the hell out of her.

“You are really cute,” she said. “I love your soul patch, it really shows off your lips.”

“You like lips, do you?”

“Mmmm yes, I love lips. I love nicely shaped lips. Yours are almost like a girl’s.”

“Hmm…thank you?”

“No really, that’s a good thing.”

“Okay, I’ll take your word for it. You’re certainly no stranger to another woman’s lips so who am I to argue?

“Like you said, pleasure in all its forms, right? So you think your wife will like me too?”

Oh yea, my wife. I had almost forgotten about her.