Keeping It Real

Scenario: A guy has one extra ticket to game six of the World Series he can offer to only one of his two best friends. He likes both friends equally and they both want to go to the game, leaving the guy with a tough decision to make. Not wanting to choose between them he leaves the decision up to fate with a flip of a coin. Having lost the coin toss to best friend #1, best friend #2 proceeds to congratulate the winner.

What Best Friend #2 Says: "“Dude, what can I say? You won fair and square, congratulations. We'’re all best buds here, I'’m happy for you. If not me, I'’d rather the ticket go to you than someone else. I hope you two have a rippin'’ good time at the game. Go ahead and get drunk for me!"

What Best Friend # 2 Is Actually Thinking: "“Miserable bucktoothed bastard. He would pick tails wouldn'’t he…...little faggot. You just love tails don'’t you fuckboy? And this ticket-havin'’ cocksucker over here; I hook him up with bales of free ganja every week and the prick'’s flippin'’ coins to see who goes to the fuckin' game with his bitch ass. Ungrateful fuckstick. Oh yeah, get drunk for me, yeah right...I hope you both choke on your own vomit you fuckin'’ mutts!"

Moral Of The Story: Honesty isn't always the best policy.