What's In A Name?

With independence day approaching once more my thoughts turn to the political correctness obsession that has gripped our society. It occurs to me that the priority for the men who affixed their signatures to the declaration of independence was to assert the fundamental rights of a select portion of the citizenry (white males) of the fledgling nation they were painstakingly constructing. The eloquent verbiage of the document leads one to believe that these rights are all inclusive, pertaining to every person born on American soil or pledging their allegiance to such. History offers a much different interpretation. Throughout our relatively short existence as a nation, examples abound of gross inequality, intolerance and disenfranchisement suffered by portions of our citizenry not of the white male persuasion.

It took over 200 years of bloodshed and social upheaval to stir the collective guilt of our nation and furnish opportunistic vote seekers with a fashionable cause to support. In the blink of an eye it became socially unacceptable to use descriptive words and phrases deemed offensive to the sensibilities of any and all demographic groups with a historical gripe against past transgressions committed against those who lived before them. Such a hollow, meaningless gesture is supposed to pardon the genocide of the Indians (That's right I said Indians not "Native Americans". If your were born in America, you're a native American), slavery, Jim Crowe, inequality between the sexes, gay bashing, etc... It's too little too late as far as I'm concerned. The damage has been done, just let it go. To refer to me as a "Latino" rather than a "spic", doesn't prevent an overzealous cop from racially profiling me. To refer to a black man as an "African American" doesn't prevent anyone from saying it but actually thinking "nigger". I prefer to know where someone really stands. I'm more inclined to believe the word of an honest bigot than one of a P.C. yuppie assclown loudly proclaiming to anyone within earshot that he has a Latino friend. Well whoopdie friggin' doo for you sparky!

Unfortunately, we appear to be stuck with political correctness for the time being so I'd be remiss if I didn't poke a little fun at it. The following is a brief list of groups and classifications desperately in need of a politically correct moniker:

Dead - Inert

Homeless- Domicile Deficient

Infertile - Gestationally Challenged

Flatulent - Methane Enhanced

Dog Groomer - Canine Esthetician

Has-been Actor - Paid Endorsement Specialist

Serial Killer - Bundyphrenic

God Bless America - We Need It Bad!