Don't Tread On Me

I'm detecting the evolution of an unsettling reality TV show theme. Smug, condescending, abusive Brits have suddenly become all the rage. Apparently, Simon Cowell's verbal sadism simply isn't enough for the American viewing public. One of the more popular shows at the moment follows a pair of pompous, crumpet-stuffed crones as they tactlessly admonish the housekeeping skills of the hapless schmuck who's invited them into his/her home. On another show, retired malapert English nannys are counseling disfunctional families and solving all their problems within a neat, one-hour time slot. I recently saw a commercial for a cooking show in which a deranged limey chef berates, bullies and browbeats a number of fledgling gourmets. This trend must die. I'm willing to tolerate a homespun American boor like Judge Judy but I'll be damned if I'll accept the revilement of people whose idea of fine cuisine is something boiled.

Here's an idea for a reality show with a British theme:

The Weakest Cranium: Each week, baseball pitchers Randy Johnson and Roger Clemens take turns hurling day-old scones aimed at the heads of drunken English soccer hooligans at speeds upwards of 90 mph. The last hooligan to pass out is awarded with one free visit to a dental hygienist.