A Friend Indeed

In our increasingly complex world, varying degrees of interpretation exist when attempting to define seemingly straightforward concepts. The concept of friendship comes to mind as an example. Friendship is not a black and white proposition; it exists on many levels.

Acquaintances - An acquaintance is someone with whom a detached camaraderie is maintained. Not interesting enough to be friends with yet not irritating enough to discard, they generally serve as a source of mundane conversation and not much of anything else. Acquaintances are good to have because you don't have to overextend yourself for them. As a general rule, no one is expected to assist a mere acquaintance in a bar fight or to pull him/her out of a burning building.

Just Friends - A classification generally employed by members of the opposite sex who find you physically repulsive but enjoy having you around for purposes of amusement or convenience.

Friends - Essentially, acquaintances with benefits, people you have much in common with and whose company you enjoy for the most part with a minimal (yet distinct) amount of detachment. Everyone can attest to possessing a number of people in their lives they call friends who in essence are simply schmucks they keep around to borrow money from, get drunk or high with or solicit their assistance when moving.

Best Friends - A person you allow into your personal space because you believe he/she can be trusted in any situation.

A) A best friend will take the wheel of your Bronco and engage the cops in a low speed highway chase in order to give you the alone time necessary in the back seat to clear your head after decapitating your ex-wife and eviscerating her boyfriend.

B) A best friend would never record your phone conversations in which you reveal performing presidential fellatio and alert the press to it.